With #ValentinesDay just around the corner, we should talk about the truths behind compatibility and long-lasting relationships.
Often times around Valentine's Day couples break-up. I'm not kidding look at the diagram below.
When someone breaks-up with us, we tend to personalize it. We assume they broke-up with us because of very personal reasons such as our physical appearance, interests, values, morals, mindsets, behaviors, quirks...having 32 hamsters...literally anything. However, incompatibility, break-ups and rejection goes much deeper than simple attraction and mutual interests. Biology can play a major role in the success of a relationship, believe it or not. But what is the difference between attraction and biology? Check out the diagram below.
PHEROMONES: Pheromones are your unique "scent" and it is believed to play a big role in attraction. These pheromones stimulate sexual arousal, desire, hormone levels, and even fertility when released. Studies using topical pheromones at The University of Chicago showed that men who used the topical pheromones had a 52% improvement in starting conversations and an even better rate of improvement in staying engaged in conversation. They also received more compliments, had noticeable flirting from women recipients, and saw a 40% increase in women’s sexual responsiveness. (source link) Fun Fact: Only 10% of men secrete an abundant amount of the pheromone, and these men may be considered desirable in the population.
KISSING: Kissing somehow helps assess the genetic quality of potential mates that it is used to increase arousal. Saliva extracts certain genetic information and can match how compatible you are. It has been suggested that kissing may allow people to subconsciously assess a potential partner through taste or smell, picking up on biological cues for compatibility, genetic fitness or general health. (source link) Fun Fact: More frequent kissing in a relationship was linked to the quality of a relationship, while this wasn't the case for having more sex.
GENETICS & IMMUNE SYSTEMS: Scientists confirmed that up to 40% of physical attraction can be determined through our genes alone.A study found that couples are more attracted to those who have very different immunity genes from their own. Couples in long-term relationships with very different immune systems from their partner was correlated to more satisfying sex lives, greater marital stability, increased fertility rates, and found each other more attractive overall. (source link) Fun Fact: Research shows that children born to couples with very different immune system genes are more likely to successfully defend themselves against a greater variety of infections which could be why couples choose partners with different immune systems.
So keep in mind, it might not be you - it might just be biological incompatibility. ;) Stop being so hard on yourself.