MONOGAMY: The Ultimate Spiritual MIRROR

In a world where self-exploration is often confused with self-expansion, many spiritual leaders have begun advocating for polyamory as a path to awakening. Aubrey Marcus, a VERY popular figure in the realms of wellness, spirituality, and personal development, broke the internet this week on his recent podcast sharing how he "received divine messages from Goddess Isis" to open his marriage and look for another partner on the dating app, Raya. He has now somehow convinced his monogamous wife to open their marriage. Aubrey Marcus is one of the loudest voices promoting polyamory as a vehicle for healing, freedom, and growth. But is it truly? Myself and many others disagree with his mndset as he is getting immense backlash about the opening of his marriage.

Buddha says "The root of suffering is attachment" and many people have ran with this in a negative and quite manipulative way to avoid deep connections. At first glance, polyamory can appear to be the ultimate spiritual challenge: facing jealousy and detaching from ego. But beneath the buzzwords lies a quieter truth, one that’s often left unspoken in the age of open relationships and curated vulnerability. It seems to be more of an escape.

Real spiritual growth doesn’t come from avoiding discomfort or chasing novelty, it comes from staying. Staying in the room when it’s hard. Staying when your partner mirrors back your shadow. Staying when the honeymoon phase is over and your deepest wounds begin to surface. That is the terrain where healing happens. That is the terrain of monogamy. In a monogamous relationship, you are consciously choosingto devote yourself to one person, every day. You are choosing to sit in the stillness, the boredom, the friction. You are choosing to grow through the ordinary, not escape into the extraordinary. It is not about possession or control, it’s about commitment to mutual evolution. There is no exit through novelty. You must face yourself fully.

Polyamory is often framed in some spiritual communities as a dismantling of societal norms, but for many, it’s actually a way to avoid the intensity of being fully seen. When one connection becomes difficult, it’s easy to pour your energy into another. You can remain in the dopamine of the beginning, the infatuation, the newness - cycling through partners without ever letting one get close enough to truly challenge you. That’s not evolution. That’s avoidance.

Claiming polyamory as a spiritual path is damaging because it gaslights vulnerable people into thinking it is ultimate growth or true "animalistic and humanistic dharma", but growth is actually dishes in the sink, arguments over childhood wounds, sitting in silence together without distractions, and choosing to love your partner when they’re not their best self and when you’re not either. True spiritual growth and hygiene is in understanding how sacred your energy is and to be wary of who is allowed to have access to that.

True monogamy is not the outdated relic people make it out to be. It is a spiritual discipline. It asks you to return again and again to the same mirror, the same person, the same space - until you no longer see them as separate from yourself. It asks you to be brave enough to stay, to witness someone’s evolution and allow them to witness yours, even when it’s messy and raw. You cannot outsource your growth when you are deeply bonded to one person. There is no hiding. There is only presence. There is only honesty. There is only a conscious choice to love over and over again.

If you are seeking to truly transform, to be challenged in your ego, to be cracked open and rewired, monogamy is the crucible.

Monogamy is not confinement. It is devotion. It is not limitation. It is depth. In a world obsessed with temptation and gratification - depth and genuine connection is the most radical thing you can choose.